Life decisions are like the Kardashians – no matter where you turn – there they are.
How should I handle a challenge?
Should we move to another city?
Should I go back to work part-time or full-time?
Do I enrol my child in to a school with the best curriculum or programs that nurture his creative interests?
Should I invest my savings or take extended leave to travel?
Should I quit my day job to pursue my passion?
Whatever the big decision, it is human nature to toss around the pros and cons in order to find a balance between pushing the boundaries to try something new and being safe and secure to avoid significant risk.
Unfortunately, when your head and heart are arguing over the possible outcomes, it’s very hard, and often confusing, to determine the right thing to do.
When I look back over judgements I’ve made, there have definitely been (hundreds of) times when I haven’t ruled wisely.
For example, leaving a well-paid PR job to move to London the same month the GFC hit was not the best decision (in fact, it was freakin’ stupid but in Australia we had no comprehension of how bad it really was overseas), but I knew I could always change my situation and choose another path (i.e. come home and get another job) with a life lesson under my belt.
The real question is, how do you decipher the noise in your head and your heart to make the ‘right’ decision?
To find your way between the two, here are five steps to help you make the right decision, for yourself, every time:
1. What are your options?
When it comes to the eternal tug-of-war between your head and heart, I encourage you to get to know all your options.
What is your head telling you to do? Write everything down until you can’t fathom any other potential outcomes.
2. What is your body telling you?
The secret to hearing what your heart has to say is giving yourself permission to slow down. Turn off the monkey banging a drum in your mind and connect with how you’re feeling.
What is your heart telling you to do? Write everything down until you exhaust how you feel about all the above logical outcomes.
Remember, you have permission to connect with how you’re feeling here. Your logical mind is not welcome in this process, so try to avoid analysing yourself before you’ve really connected with what it is your heart is trying to communicate.
This step may be easier to accomplish a day or two after step 1 so you have time to subconsciously process what you’d previously uncovered.
Read through all your answers above and register what your body is telling you?
Do you feel tight, uneasy, anxious or ill at the thought of one decision?
Do you feel light, content, happy, excited, free and relaxed at the thought of another?
The aim here is to unearth whether one answer will strengthen your truth and support your happiness or satisfy someone else’s motivation and agenda.
4. Make the decision
If you believe you have reviewed all the possible outcomes and gained an understanding of what your head and heart both want, the answer should reveal itself naturally.
It’s time to decide.
Obviously there are some decisions that are larger than others and require more time to process and ponder, that’s why it’s vital to understand the difference between what your head (aka Inner Critic) wants and what your heart (aka Your Truth) needs. If you need assistance getting to know your Inner Critic further, download the free Woman Rising worksheet How To Stop Self Sabotage here.
5. There are no wrong decisions
Whatever happens in the end, you cannot make a wrong decision. It may not please everyone, but you’ve made the decision to support your own happiness, right?
If it doesn’t work out the way you had intended, change the situation. The outcome has occurred for a reason. What is the lesson? You can’t live in the past so how can you use this experience in the future?
Only when you give yourself permission to connect with both your head and your heart, and deciding if your final verdict aligns with your life values, can you come to solution.
It’s when we fail to listen to our heart and ignore our natural ability to connect intuitively to what we really desire, that we deny ourselves happiness, love, freedom and growth.
Only you are responsible for your life. Lessons you’ve learned from your experiences and choices add up to create a beautiful journey that has no limits or boundaries.
Buy a ticket and enjoy the ride!